i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
