we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
