i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
