Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize