Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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