And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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