and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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