nut hugger
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
