You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
