I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
