i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
