I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
