so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize