I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
