11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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