The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
