Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize