your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
