I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
