Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
