I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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