Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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