my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
