I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
