Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
