Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
