i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
