The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
