That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
