new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just gift wrapped bread.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
