**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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