Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
