Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
