Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
