I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize