I think i peed on brittanys purse
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize