I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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