And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well I just put wine in my tea
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
