That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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