He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize