Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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