At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
