i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
