Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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