Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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