I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
