Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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