he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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