It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
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