What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
