Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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