MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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