Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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