billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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