What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I currently don't understand fingers.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
