dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
