You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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