Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
