just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
