when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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