your thong is hanging out like whoa
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
