do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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