I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
