apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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