Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
