Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
