Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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