Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
two words...techno handjob
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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