that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
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