Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
