I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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