No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
the liver wants what the liver wants
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
