Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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