what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
