Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
