We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
you had me at cake vodka
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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