yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
