I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize