Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
