boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
