Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
