the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
